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Â		I will marry Michael Jackson.	Â
Â		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Australia in our fabulous House.	Â
Â		We will have 4 kid(s) together.	Â
Â		Our family will zoom around in a Jet Black Camaro.
Â		I will spend my days as a Actress, and live happily ever after.	Â
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Well Im back from The Rock Boat and I must say it was fucken awesome!!! It was the best thing I've ever done from hanging out with hanson in random places on the ship, to seeing new awesome bands, and swimming with dolphins.

Even on the way home I winded up on the  plane to Dallas with Taylor and Isaac.... of all the flights and airlines... they ended up on mine.... that was kinda cool.

if anyone wants to more details about my fun trip hit me up...

Also I have been in love with this David Cook song that I wanted to share the lyrics too.. it has no real meaning but I think it sounds cool so there they are

"Bar-Ba-Sol" by David Cook
When I woke up I could see
the daylight had already passed me
It was such a fight to fade away to sleep
It's a fuge, i'm on it
from the chase down the dawn
well I fell every night as it turns into light
when my eyes just shut tight

Sailing all alone I thought I made it home but I threw it all away
oh where i've been sold in spite again
long before me like a dream
falling in between
I feel sick, I feel nervous
I know just what I did to deserve this
oh i know it's not a dream

keeping quiet, laying low
holding on to what I dont want to know
till the daylight turns to ash and goes away
missing keys, bloody nose
consequences of what i chose
keep running, answer me
don't want my memory
it all comes so deeply

Sailing all alone
I thought I made it home
but I threw it all away

Oh where I've been sold
in spite again
long before me like a dream
falling in beteen
I feel sick, I feel nervous
I know jsut what I did to deserve this
oh I know it's not a dream

Oh, where I've been sold in spite of

oh, where I've been sold in spite of you
before me like a dream
I know just what I did to deserve this
oh I know its not a dream
falling in between
I feel sick, I feel nervous
oh I know its not a dream

Oh and I will also be making a new and even better journal soon so once thats up and going everyone will get the link to my new journal page...

location: Home music: "Reincarnated" Kevin Regan tags: song, trb

Ok... lets see back when I was in 8th grade... I had the bestest best friend in the world, Lucas, I dated his brother Matt first but we became super close.. Well i had a friend, Olivia, who decided that because me and her had a big falling out, to take Lucas from me when he had plans to ask me out.. So she got him to ask her out and because she was his girlfriend, he sided with her and turned into a jackass on me for something he had no part in. He let our friendship go down the tubes for something that wasnt his problem. now lets fast forward to nowadays and the same shit is happening all over again. Only this time... I'm being made out to be the bad guy. 

Me and two friends who are girls and Im sure they know who they are.. are dating..  ok thats fine with me... Well Girl 1 decides to visit me out here... I say sure why not... Girl 2 asks if its ok to get ahold of Girl 1 occasionally because we both have verizon. I say ok because I think the calls are gonna be quick 10-15min calls at most. 

Now Girl 1 visits me and we have fun... The only thing was Girl 2 would get panicky if she couldnt get ahold of Girl 1 right away. But she would get ahold of her when She could. and Yes.. I hear of things going wrong when meeting friends from the internet... well since 05, I've flown to visit friends and things have gone fine. with the exception of losing my phone in Boston. But things were fine, I get that anything can happen but you've always got to have faith that it wont happen. and just because you cant get ahold of that person right away doesnt necessarily mean something bad. But Girl 2 took advantage of that and would prolong conversations knowing we were on our way somewhere. Or when Girl 1 told her my battery was going dead so the call had to be short she said "well she has verizon so it doesnt matter" and i heard that myself due to the sound on my phone being loud. well my battery had nothing to do with what carrier I have. and she once again kept talking.

Well due to the stuff that happened. I was planning on talking to Girl 2 about it after Girl 1 went home. But see there is this guy that both of them introduced me to who is BEst friends with Girl 2. I knew after talking to her, she'd tell him and without hearing my side... he'd be like LUcas and side with her without knowing the full story so I sent him a message letting him know what went down and that I didnt want him to think ill of me for defending myself to her. It wasnt to disrespect her, it was because I didnt wanna lose another good guy friend over something he had no part in. I just felt I needed to defend and explain myself. THere was NO disrespecting in anyway. Well before I had a chance to talk to Girl 2, i talked to the guy and he suggested that BOTH he and I should stay out of the mess so Girl 1 and Girl 2 can sort things out. So I did just that. I didnt think I disrespected anyone by trying to prevent losing another friend over a fight that didnt involve him. 

Now things are blowing up in my face. Girl 1 and I understand why I acted the way I did but Girl 2 doesnt.. and I've tried so hard but she doesnt seem to want to understand. I'm sorry for anything that was misunderstood or misconstrued but I didnt mean to disrespect anyone. I just want things to go back to normal with everyone. I know it may be a bit hard but thats all I want... I care about all of them but I just hate when I cant tell my side of things and am misunderstood. 

So to Girl 2 and to our good guy friend who knows who he is, Im sorry for anything that was misconstrued or misunderstood, there was never any intent to disrespect anyone. Im sorry if thats what you thought but I wasnt.. and to the guy, I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with me due to either our past issues or what but you've become a real good and dear friend and I dont wanna lose that.. so if you ever think im out of line, or i dont believe you or what... please tell me. I hate finding out from other people... it hurts.

This is a private post for just my friends to read.

music: "Temporary Insanity" Alexz Johnson tags: apology, disrespect, friends, misunderstood, venting

I'm very bored so I decided to make up my own Meme... warning... I have had lots of soda, been partly depressed and been talkin to my 18yr old cousin getting ideas for these

1. What is your name?
2. Where did we meet?
3. Are we acquaintences, friends, good friends, or enemies?
4. Does anything ever remind you of me?
5. If you could give me any nick name what would it be?

6. If I invited you to go to Vegas would you go?
7. In my darkest hour would you be there for me?
8. If you woke up tomorrow and found out I was gone, what would be your reaction?
9. Pick a song that you would use to explain your feelings towards me.
10. If you could put me in a movie what kind of movie would it be?

11. I want a tattoo, what do you think i should get?
12. If you could pair me up with anyone to be with romantically who would it be?
13. If we were the last two people on earth, would you have sex with me to re-populate the earth?
14. My heart's been broken so many times, if i told you i loved you, how would you handle it if you didnt feel the same?
15. What do you honestly think about me?

tags: bored, me, meme, soda

With everything going on in my life, and the massive heartache i've been under I've written something and decided to share it. It's not the best but here it is, Falling Angel

Bits of broken halo
Scattered underneath my feet
Leaving open wounds to bleed
Feathers fallen from wings
Trailing behind me
For someone to follow
Inside a heart is dying
To be loved once more
But on one seems to care

Heaven didn’t want me
They shot me down
To nothing left in this world

I’m a falling angel
Falling so fast
Falling so hard
I can’t get back up
I’m too weak to try
Nothings the same
I’m a falling angel

The strings have frayed
No more blissful sounds
From my magical harp
I’ve made mistakes before
Quite a few I’m sure
But on one is ever perfect
I’m being crucified
Stripped of everything
That made me what I am

Look deep into my eyes
Can’t you see the tears that are falling?
There isn’t nothing left for me
I’ve grown tired of walking
Can’t keep up anymore
Guess its time for me to go
So long, farewell
Never knew how hard it is
To fall and say goodbye 

music: "Dont You Dare" Alexz Johnson tags: broken heart, falling angel, writings

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Â		I will marry Isaac Hanson.	Â
Â		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Greece in our fabulous Apartment.	Â
Â		We will have 2 kid(s) together.	Â
Â		Our family will zoom around in a Black Scion TC.
Â		I will spend my days as a Actress, and live happily ever after.	Â
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Here is an update on whats going in my life right now:

I am currently receiving unemployment from the state of California due to being laid off. However, while just going to 'look' for cars at the Toyota dealer on sunday, not only did we leave with a brand new 08 Blue Sports Edition Camry, but i got the possibility of a job at the dealership working in the show room as a receptionist.

The very cute and friendly sales guy, Matt, who is i would have to say around 27 years of age was already saying he'll be seeing me there for work. The only thing is.. he may be cute but every Matt I've liked or have dated has screwed me over so I dont know if i should even consider this one. 

However my heart is still longing for the person who will always hold my heart no matter what. But the heart wants what it wants and nothing will change that. Ive tried so many things to get over him, but after running into him recently it only made things worse. I know he'll never be mine because he loves someone else so much that when ever he talks about her, his smile gets so wide and he wont shut up. To him, all I am is just a really close friend who is more like a sister and will never see me in a romantic way. And even if i do try to move on and fall in love with someone else, i have a habit of falling for guys who are either only interested in me as a friend, already in a committed relationship, or gay. Then the guys who fall for me are complete and total psycho paths. Im just not lucky in love.

canyoutellme97I havent heard from you in awhile so I just wanna make sure things are going okay for you. Its hard to catch you online now but hope to hear from you weather its here or since you have my # now you can text me if you'd so like. Hope all is well and if you need to chat.. im always here..  by the way the David Cook love stays hon. sorry. But Of corse Hanson love will always be #1

So thats it for this update, see y'all next time

 

music: "What About Now(Acoustic)" ~ Daughtry tags: david cook, hanson, life, love, new job, toyota

 1. Real name and/or screen name:
2. Birthday:
3. Age:
4. Place of residence:
5. What makes you happy:
6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
7. Do you read my LJ:
8. If you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
9. An interesting fact about you:
10. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
11. Favorite place to be:
12. Favorite lyric:
13. Best time of the year:
14. Weirdest food you like:
15. Do farts make you laugh:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song and an album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your LJ so I can tell you what I think of you.
4. Optional. Post a picture of you:

music: "Runnin" Jesse McCartney tags: bored, jordan, maria, meme

Just three more days until I leave for North Carolina! I cant wait, i need this vacation. The owner at my work is a royal ass and I need a break from him before I say something I will regret. Three days in a row of Hanson concerts is just the medicine I need. I plan on taking some collectable Star Wars coins to see if Zac might want them.

The only bad thing is I will be missing the love of my life David Cook on AI next week cause we all know he wont be getting kicked off this week. sorry to tell you canyoutellme97 even tho it will most likely be an Archuleta Vs. Cook finale... David Cook will be the winner. Not that Archuleta isnt adorable or talented but its time a rocker with heart won. 

So to all my rp buddies, i will not be on from Friday May 2nd to Sat May 10th. I am gonna try to be on Sunday the 11th but no guarantees.

To everyone who reads me and Nyc's fic Somethin Goin Round, Im gonna try to get a chapter posted before or on early friday. If not I will work diligently to put up two when I get home.

And to everyone else... see ya later!

music: "Daytripper" David Cook tags: david cook, hanson, north carolina, something going round, vacation

 I feel like ranting people...

aside from travling to North Carolina to see Hanson in May... my life sucks.

My job is stressing me big time and what i get paid isnt worth the stress it causes me. I need a better job where im not cooped up and no one constantly over my shoulder making sure i dont fuck up. 

Relationship wise.... I've recently uncovered that this person i've been in love with for quite awhile who i already knew was taken... that if he wasnt with the person i loathe for having him... he'd rather have another person I could NEVER compare to... I'd never have a shot and it really hurts and is effecting my moods. I'm constantly depressed feeling helpless, hopeless and worthless. No one aside from the obsessive freaks want me. 

I have to lie to my family about being bi and the fact that i dont believe in religion anymore. It sucks majorly but they would never understand. My biological clock has been ticking every time i see a baby lately and that'll never happen hence i cant get a guy interested in me. 

Nothing just seems to go my way. I sometimes wonder if my life is really worth living... well thats my rant for now...

tags: life, sucks

Title: Unexpected
Author: Myself
Rating: PG-13, for now
Pairing: Straight fan fic
Author's Note: This is my first time putting a story out.. I am writing most of this as i post so bare with me. Hope everyone likes it

( Part One )

music: Evanescence "Call Me When You're Sober"

Hey I'm looking for the lyrics to A Change In My Life... it really inspired me back at the tulsa show and i would love to have the lyrics. i'd like to sing it for a special event coming up so if anyone has them i'd like to have them.. thanks

mood: creative music: YouTube video: A Change In My Life

Hey everyone..... was wondering if anyone was on tonite that would like to chat? im bored and want someone to talk to.... i'm postin here so we can chat about Hanson or Hanson-related stuff... other things too... well if you'd like... you can IM me on CaliKU86 or LuvlyTgr86 both are AOL/AIM sns.....

mood: bored music: Watching Undiscovered with Steven Strait

I know I've already posted about this poll before but Tay is only 300 some votes away from winning... so if you want to see him win.. keep voting.. he's almost there!!!

http://www.theinternetforum.com/polls/sexiestman1.php

*may have to copy and paste

Thanks a bunch

Ps: pass it around to your friends who dont have LJ

mood: content music: Let Me Introduce Myself: Marion Raven

Hey you guys!! I just joined the community cuase I love Doug in 21 JS... ANd i've been trying to find a good picture of him and his leather jacket from the first season.. it looks like one a friend of mine owns and he doesnt believe me... if anyone has one please let me know.. thanks...

mood: curious

Wow... October is actually here.. wow time sure does go by fast. Well lots of things have happened since my last update... I went to Knotts with Rose were we had some Hanson shirts airbrushed just for us (wont show a pic cause i dont want anyone copying our idea) and some rings that say Hanson. It was really fun.

Last Sunday I went to see Corpse Bride with my godmother. I loved that movie. It was soo cute and funny. I cant wait til it comes out on DVD. And now Rose is in the Phillipines after a year since we first met. It feels weird that she's gone but... I'll live. I go to Tulsa in November again to see Hanson perform at Cains and to get everything settled in my house.

Yes I said MY HOUSE... Im moving in my friend's side trailer house with her in January. This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time and finally its going to happen. Im moving to tulsa.... and its not just cause of Hanson.... I loved it a lot when i was there back in March, so much I would live there even if Hanson wasnt from there.

Yesterday at work I found out I like Banana Creme Pie. I never had it before and now I love it. And I also tried this Chocolate Silk Pie too.. that was really good too and im very picky when it comes to chocolate.

Things are really going my way lately.... I should knock on wood for that but it really has. Lets just hope it stays like that for awhile... By the way Im looking around for a good Halloween costume since we dress up at work and im out of ideas.. if anyone has any.... let me know.... well Im going to go TTYL!!

mood: content music: I Count The Minutes~ Ricky Martin